An ex-Mormon has lifted the lid on what it was really like to get married in the church's temple - revealing that it felt more like she was being 'rushed through a bride factory' than her wedding day, and that she was forced to wear an extremely modest gown that was assigned to her after hers was deemed 'not white enough.'
Alyssa Grenfell, 31, who now works as an assistant principle in Austin, Texas, was raised in a 'devout Mormon family' in Utah, but decided to leave the 'controlling religion' in 2017.
She has since dedicated her life to helping others 'navigate their own way out of the LDS church' - releasing her own 'guide' called How to Leave the Mormon Church, while also becoming a viral social media star for sharing her experiences online.
Most recently, she spoke out about what it was like to tie the knot as a Mormon, and she said it was a 'painful' experience since she had no input in almost any aspect of her big day, had to wear an outfit that the church had picked out, and wasn't even allowed to bring many of her own family members.
In a video shared to her YouTube channel last week, Alyssa dished, 'The Mormon temple really steals your ability to make your day about you as a bride.
'If there's one day in all of your life that you expect to be centered around you, it's your wedding, right?'
'I don't think that's too much to ask but ultimately, a Mormon wedding is so much more about the temple and about your religion than it is about you.'
Alyssa explained that the focus was more on meeting the 'temple's schedule and requirements' than on what she and her husband-to-be wanted.
'When you are married in the temple, especially in Utah, it's almost like a bride factory,' she continued. 'When I got married, I received a very small slot of time [for the ceremony].
'And they were running behind that day so they said that my ceremony needed to be shortened because that was the only way they could catch up. So my wedding day was so rushed.'
She recalled getting ready in an enormous 'bridal room' where other women who were set to be married that day were also getting ready.
And when it came time for the ceremony, she said they weren't allowed to add anything 'special or unique to her.'
'You are not permitted to share or exchange vows, you don't even say "I do," you just say the word "yes,"' she recalled.
'Really, from top to bottom, it is not a special or personal experience. You're not even allowed to choose who marries you.
'There's a temple officiant who recites the words of the ceremony, he doesn't personalize it for you, he just says the words that are part of the temple marriage ceremony.
'The officiant that married us mispronounced my name, so he didn't even know my own name.'
In addition, Alyssa revealed that she was told she wouldn't be allowed to wear the dress she had picked out, despite her purposely finding one that fit the religion's strict rules regarding clothing.
'You have to get a very specific style so that you can still wear your holy sacred underwear with your wedding dress,' she explained.
'Even though I got a wedding dress that was modest enough for my garments, I still was not permitted to wear it in the temple because - get this - it wasn't white enough.
'On my wedding day, they got a piece of computer paper and they held it up to my dress.
'This is not the norm for every temple - all temples have their own little peculiar rules - but at my temple where I got married they said if the shade of your dress doesn't match the computer paper you have to change into a dress is sold by the church.'
She said hers didn't pass the test so instead, she donned an old-fashioned frock with a boxy frame, long sleeves, and a green apron - which she tried on for her viewers.
'Even though I got a wedding dress that was modest enough for my garments, I still was not permitted to wear it in the temple because - get this - it wasn't white enough,' she said
In the end, Alyssa and her husband both left the church together and are now planning to renew their vows so that they can properly celebrate with their friends and family
During the video, Alyssa also revealed that two of her three sisters weren't allowed to attend her wedding - since one hadn't 'received her temple endowment yet' and the other had left the church.
Any other friends or family members that were not a part of the religion were banned as well, which she admitted was extremely 'painful' for her.
'My own grandma and grandpa, they drove all the way up from Albuquerque to Utah to see my wedding and they could not come,' she said.
As for what was said during the ceremony, Alyssa revealed, 'The man is asked if he [is ready to] receive the woman and the woman is asked if she gives herself to him.
'There's certainly no suggestion of equality between the bride and groom. The groom chooses to receive his bride, which I find to be a bit offensive.'
She also revealed that in the days before her wedding, she had to attend something that she called the 'the washing and anointing,' which she described as a 'cult-like' and 'awful' experience in which two women 'explained how they wear their religious underwear.'
'You're supposed to wear it for the remainder of your life,' Alyssa explained of the garment.
'It's something to encourage modesty, but it's also a way of showing that you remember the promises that you made in the temple and to carry the temple with you all times.'
As for the wedding reception after the ceremony, she said it was held in the 'cultural hall of the church, which is actually just a fancy name for a basketball gym,' adding, 'It's not very classy.
Alyssa previously went viral for sharing how she found her personal style and 'reclaimed her body' after leaving the religion in her late 20s. She's seen before cutting ties with the religion
She showed off a snap that showed her 'wearing a tank top in public' for the first time, admitting, 'I felt so scandalous'
Because Mormons wait until marriage to have sex, she added that it felt like everybody was starring at her and her husband during the party.
'There's kind of an undertone at a lot of Mormon receptions, everybody's kind of eyeing the bride and groom and like gossiping a little bit about what what's going to happen next,' she stated.
In the end, Alyssa and her husband both left the church together and are now planning to renew their vows so that they can properly celebrate with their friends and family.
Alyssa previously went viral for sharing how she found her personal style and 'reclaimed her body' after leaving the religion in her late 20s.
She showed off a snap that showed her 'wearing a tank top in public' for the first time, admitting, 'I felt so scandalous.'
The content creator said she eventually started wearing short-sleeved tops regularly, and put on her first bikini at age 28.
'Six years after leaving the church, I got my nose ring, I got my ears pierced, and I have three tattoos,' she told her followers.
Although she said it took her 'years' to become as comfortable in her own body, she added that she now loves looking back on her transformation.
'Honestly, there's something so beautiful to me looking through all these photos and seeing this transformation, the self discovery that's taken place in my life, of finding out who I am outside of Mormonism,' she shared.
And Alyssa hopes that being so open about what she went through will help others who may be struggling.
'My experiences as a devout Mormon transitioning out of a controlling religion have inspired me to start the resource for others going through the same thing,' she wrote on her website.
'Few can comprehend the massive chokehold this cult has on the mind of those who are taught to believe. I want to help people escape and live a free, full life - unlimited coffee included.'