Tuesday, 23 January 2024

To marry or not to marry?: Priest, theologian reflect on archbishop’s suggestion

Fr Anthony Fitzpatrick supports Archbishop Charles Scicluna’s call to make celibacy optional

After all, one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity is freedom, and the freedom to lead one’s life according to their calling is part of God’s will, he told Times of Malta.

“This is not to mitigate the vocation crisis, and the archbishop was clear on that from the get-go. This is not to increase the number of priests, but it would certainly bring a few good men who are currently forced to choose between marriage and priesthood,” he said.

“There is no reason why these men should not be given the option to pursue a priestly calling. After all, we believe St Peter himself was married.”

Such a change would, however, require that people change their perception on priests.

“People often expect too much from priests, while simultaneously attempting to discredit them and also seek their help,” he said.

“Priests have always been expected to be available all day, every day. That would need to change if our priests were to be allowed the option to marry, as they need their time to rest and be with their family. And that’s not a bad thing, but it requires a change of mentality.”

Fitzpatrick believes it would be wonderful for a married man to freely go into priesthood, but he would not do it himself.

He feels he was called to give his entire life to his parish, which leaves him no time for a wife, let alone children.

“I like my life the way it is. I literally gave my life to my people, and I’m happy. I feel that is my calling,” he said.

“Marriage is another calling – another vocation that would not allow me enough time to give to the parish. But this is not to say other men would not be able to fulfil both callings.”

This is not to mitigate the vocation crisis

It could also be comforting for priests to return home in the evening to a loving family, rather than returning to an empty house, he said, adding that loneliness is not necessarily more prevalent in priests living alone.

Fitzpatrick was appointed Marsa’s Marija Reġina parish priest last year and raised eyebrows when he introduced a monthly ‘couples mass’ at his church, for which he invited same sex couples to join, arguing the Church belongs to everyone.

The mass has caught on surprisingly well, and the Pope’s announcement allowing the blessing of gay unions only drew more people towards the initiative, he said.

Prominent theologian Fr René Camilleri said he agrees in principle that priests should not be forced into celibacy. It is such a huge and valuable gift to live a celibate life that it makes no sense to force it on anyone.

However, he has been rethinking the entire idea and now believes that being a priest and married life is practically not feasible.

“Marriage alone already requires the person to effectively commit themselves entirely to the other person, and priesthood requires an equally intense affective commitment, albeit in different ways,” he said.

“I can’t see how one man can be able to manage both commitments.”

He said it was not a question of finding enough time to cope with the priesthood and with the family. After all, many professionals manage both their profession and their families.

But priesthood is deeper than that, as it requires a man to dedicate their life to their vocation.

'Don't blame celibacy for lack of priests'

Camilleri insisted it would be wrong to blame celibacy for the lack of priests.

The celibacy rule is not blocking men from becoming priests, he argued. If it were so, other Catholic rites and Christian religions that allow married clergy would have no vocation crises, yet they all seem to be going through a vocation drought nonetheless.

Removing the rule would also pave the way for a set of other issues, Camilleri argued, further complicating many aspects of priesthood.

“One of them is this – what happens when a priest’s marriage fails?” he said.

“There is no guarantee a priest’s marriage will sail plainly without problems, and priests cannot simply break up with their wives and remarry.”

I can’t see how one man can be able to manage both commitments

What is certainly missing, however, is proper and adequate formation that truly prepares young priests for a celibate life.

“I remember in my day we viewed celibacy as part of the package – take it or leave it. But we were not prepared for it and we had to find ways to deal with it as we go,” he said.

“Today is even worse – times have changed, it has become more difficult to live a celibate life and the Church still does not adequately prepare young men for it. It should take this seriously and delicately, for it is essentially asking its young men to renounce an essential part of their being.”